Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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