You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I have post one night stand depression
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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