Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
