she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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