She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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