Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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