I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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