and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
