Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
