Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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