I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
