i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
