come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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