i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
