As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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