I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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