I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
