Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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