Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
