I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You pole danced in your parka.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize