im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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