Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
