is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
