hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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