I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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