i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
