Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
