I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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