Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
