its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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