lets start a swedish sibling band together
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
