I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize