he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
