no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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