Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
