Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
