put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
