He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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