We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its not stalking. its research.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
