They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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