I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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