i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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