the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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