When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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