my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
