I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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