what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
