if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
