Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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