I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
