Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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