you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
