I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
