think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
