so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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