thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
