party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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