i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
