Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
