Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
