Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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