i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
