dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
