Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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