Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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