the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
