you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she peed on how many people?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
