hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
