Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
