can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
